tfieLEECH
Sucking the blood of popular entertainment
I Hots/eon hanging around those lag- broaktroo municipal offices lit the faintly undesirable town of Manchester, and encouraging the local (It)llll(lll workers to empty thoir ashtrays along the palatial driveways of their local MPs. the Leech has been rather busy of late. But that did not stop tho Leech from stalking the George Martin of the British (:inoma. Bill Nighy. Nighy (currently awaiting reunification With kudos after / ovo Actual/Vi could be soon this week acting lll one of three new films that wntor director Stephen Poliakoff ltop right. looking rnoro like Neil La Huto than Neil La Butel is making for tho BBC. Nrghy plays a phrlanderrng PR guru around the time of the New Labour's 1997 electron Victory and Princess Diana's death. The Leech yrsrtod tho set on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh and offered the star a Nostlo chocolate. Nrghy dramatically declined tho Leech's offer stating that he preferred Mars bars and that he
Nappy Hopper
actually had a Hitchhikers Gurde to the Galaxy. Oh dear.
I It was recently reported that Dennis Hopper was reunited with his Scottish nanny from 40 years ago when he attended the Dunhill Links Championship. The Leech was standing nearby when these two ran into each other again and the Leech rs sore that Mrs Manon Paul passed him her business card while
12 THE LIST .f‘ Oct—«1 NC‘. 3003.
pointing out to the 68-year-old Easy Rider that he may once again soon need someone to clean out his nappies and wipe his chin for him.
I God bless The Guard/an. Its legacy a thousand years from now Wlll be IIS Corrections and Clarifications column, a riddle of apology and code set down for bewildered future generations. The best for some time
Welsh .fijiserablists
has to be the apology for the Inadvertent swrtching of identities of Barry Burns and Mogwai from Scottish to Welsh in Stuart Jeffries' mediocre Welcome to Cool Cymru
article (published Saturday October 9).
The Leech would not wish such a transformation on anyone. Watch out
in these pages next week for the Leek.
I So Franz Ferdinand have been approached to do the muslc for the next Harry Potter film. Oh dear. Ferdinand's transformation into a son of Roxy Music Genesis hybrid may come sooner than many right minded mus|c 10urnos believed.
I Finally, the Leech has been indulging in two rather good books: Pains in Pub/re and Pains in the Office lCapstone Publishrngi. both out this month. The books detail the peOple one should chop one's head off to mod in wOrk and play enwronments. Is there a type of person any of you beautiful people out there feel the same abOut’? Go on. tell the Leech. Email theteechéhstcouk
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Everybody likes good smells, right? So what if someone was to distil an entire larder into a jar of wax? Following in that true American tradition these are bigger and fatter than your average flame and last for longer than everyone else's too. The odour can be brisk and burly (Stormy Weather), homely and practical (Clean Cotton), or just make you starving (Mom’s Apple Pie). Real weapons of mass nasal seduction.
Only Britain could pioneer such a ridiculous method of shopping. They take away any tactile relationship with the products you want to buy, insist that you flick through a laminated catalogue while small children hang off your legs (are they employed by the store?) and still make you queue in a production line before you get what you want. Retail therapy without the therapy? That’s just no fun at all.