VOGTS OF NO CONFIDENCE Embattled manager fails to convince critics
I Halters (ll (jli’)’ll‘,‘(l football manager l‘Errrti Vogts had their knives sharpened even before Scotland's iiniiniiietmw ’lltl‘H in a World Cup riiialilier against Moldova. "The ball is round and can lll()\.’(,‘ to any S;i(le.' taunted the [)(ll/l’ Record on its front page. quoting from Vogts' battlineg ()l)‘.'llill‘i l/illlllltflll in the pre-inatch [ilhfr‘i -’,()lllf,‘l(}ll()(,’. Snapping Vogts arrrxing for training in a taxr. it found the iiliVioiis pun and opined that 'the meters; running on his managerial liiliirii'.
I All of the papers reported former Scotland star Craig Burley’s Five Live outburst, in which he branded Vogts and his players an international laughing stock. The Herald was inclined to be fairer to poor Berti, arguing that ‘the greatest coach in the game would struggle to gouge goals from this Scotland team’. But it didn’t take long for the Glasgow broadsheet to join the general baying for Vogts’ head.
I lhe Scottish Sun didn't let the failed Scotland manager escape unscathed. ‘Giiilty! and charged With impersonating an international football learn boss." it ranted. Not content with this bla/ing headline. it snarled ‘Rendova Berti. time to get the boot.’ on the back page. lts chief football critic revelled in a self-satisfied 'I told you so.' and furiously proclaimed that "Ber'ti's time is up"
MURPHY'S LAW
Peebles art centre attacked
I It‘s been a tOugh old time fOr Scotland's best known architect. Richard Murphy The Scotsman broke the ston about the brouhaha over Murphy's recently opened Eastgate Theatre in Peebles which. haying been
8 THE LIST QT O.‘t~-1 NC;
MUSIC MAGAZINES
The music press discovers downloading
I Whatever happened to the holy grail of pop. the good old hit single? The flummoxed record industry saw singles sales plummet by 30% in 2003. and a further 12% this year. Quite how they hadn't noticed that no one over the age of 20 buys singles any more is anyone's guess. But finally, things are looking up. now that the music magazines have discovered downloading. Industry bible Music Week may prefer to use TV and Radio Airplay alongside the Singles Chart as indices of popularity. but the end-user titles are being far less fuddy duddy. Dinosaurs like O are reinventing themselves as online specialists in the face of competition from new title Rip 8 Burn, which aims squarely at Generation iPod. And now. even the original champion of the hit single, NME. has given in. ‘Next week.‘ it Crowed. ‘we wave goodbye to the steam-powered Sing/es page of old and blast off into the brave new world of iPods and solar—powered dogs and that. Yes, the instant your favourite band's new track is on the net for a quid. we'll cover it in Tracks.‘ Shame for NME. then, that nearly everyone else got there first. I But you can trust the NME to be ahead of the game with tales of hapless ex-Libertine Pete Doherty. ‘Everything that’s happened to Doherty recently,’ the paper reminded us, ‘is tainted with drugs, chaos and disaster.’ The NME went on tour with Pete’s new band Babyshambles, and he told them that ‘I can say “I’m not smoking crack any more and I’m completely in control and playing better than I have” but I ain’t going crawling back to the Libertines.’ Such revelations didn’t stop it slapping Doherty on its cover, sporting an expression that made him look uncannin like he was off his head.
shortlisted for an RlAS architecture award. has seen an outburst from several Scottish theatre inSiders that ‘the theatre has serious faults in regard to its basic function as a performance space'. It seems that VIEWS of the stage from certain areas of the gallery are severely restricted. The paper intemiewed Mary Shields. long time associate director of Edinburgh's Assembly Rooms. and
recently installed as director of the centre. ‘lt's a converSion. not a custom-built burldrng.’ she argued. 'What Richard has achieved from what he had to work wrth is amazmg.‘ But in the Observer. Ruaridh Nicoll was less charitable. arguing that Murphy's apparent disregard for the artists who use his buildings suggests an almost sinful disregard fOr function'. Ouch.
‘lt’s a great misconception. No matter how much I hang out with Brad Pitt, I will not become more attractive to women.’
Poor Jack Black final/i realises he 's niisSing that ivital element of being a celeb.
We are sick and tired of people trying to make money out of our family.’ The Beckharns face the real/ti" of what life like on the press" bad side.
‘If he does become leader, he’ll need to tone down the fake tan, rethink that very odd hairstyle, and look a good deal less smug.’ Could Caro/e Cap/in be any more right about Robert Kilroy Silk?
‘Someone like me has to remind people that rock’n’roll is about looking good, it’s about art and it’s about kissing the baby.’ And we must remind ourselves that you're not all there. Marilyn Manson.
‘l’m not saying all Republicans are racist, sexist homophobes, just the people they elect into office to represent them.’ Comedian David Cross lets us know where he stands on the US presidential election.
‘Ferrets are illegal but whatever. I wish there was a law that they were legal, because I don’t think that’s a fair law.’
Once again Paris Hilton dumfounds us with the scope of her intelligence.