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Sucking the blood of popular entertainment
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I Ohh God The Leech can still taste it. That meaty. bloody but strangely metallic flavour. The Leech has just spent the last few weeks hanging about the prosthetics hospital in the west London borough of Stanmore on the off chance that some medieval quack may place the Leech on the flank of Heather Mills’ one good leg. There is nothing like the drip drip Rhesus negative of Geordie gold digger to fill the heart with joy. But circumstances changed and certain fundamentalist Muslims started movmg into the area and usmg the same limb library so the Leech had to lllOVG OH.
Anyway. in the real world several managers of a Chinese public broadcaster have been sacked after contestants in a prime time Quiz show were asked to guess how many children had died in the Beslan school massacre. The quiz show guestion was espeCially embarraSSing as it came on the eve of high-powered trade talks between Russo and China. I It's just been announced that the official 2005 Cliff Richard calendar (pictured above) will be the best selling one of all time if pre Orders are anything to go by. There is indeed no underestimating public taste.
I It was the arthouse Cinema hit of 2002 2003 — Etre et AvO/r, the cutesy.
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Lopez ln Btre 'et Avoir
heart warming documentary about the day to day life of a French village teacher. But then things got
12 THE LIST 7—21 Oct 200$
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acnmonious. Georges Lopez, the teacher in question. decided he wanted a cut of the film‘s S‘l .3m profits and the director Nicolas Philiben disagreed. so evenyene went to court. The judge decided that Lopez deserved no payment for taking part in the preject and thus Sullied his public image as a modest. selfless schoolteacher. Showbiz — it Will chew you up and spit yOu
out. Etre et Avon can currently be seen taking up available space on BBC FOLir.
I Gosh, what a surprise. Pete Doherty didn't make it to another
gig, what a Babyshambles! More importantly, the boy is apparently conSidering a £100,000 offer to appear in Ce/ebrity Big Brother. According to one diseased red top. the show's producers have said he COuld keep his fee even it he quit on the first day. Doherty was the producer's second chOice for the house loose canon after Liam Gallagher.
I When a South African television executive was suspended last week for authorismg the broadcast of Video footage showmg the beheading of an American hostage in Iraq. his stoni received wideSpread media coverage ~ not least in the COuntry's Mar/ and Guardian newspaper. The paper's headline? 'Heads may roll after gruesome TV footage?
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‘ WAR FOOD
Maybe it was OK for Dr Robert Atkins to shun carbs in sunny California but in Scotland stodge was always our loyal friend. Learn to love it again. Cuddle up with a chip butty, sink into a steaming pie and spoon up mountains of buttery mash. Stodge is a gift, heaven sent from the skies above with the sole purpose to warm and comfort. Guilt is futile: mash, pastry, dough, batter — mash ‘em up, tuck in and let your spirit soar.
HOLIDAY BORES
You've been away, the suntan's faded and peeled off long ago and the photos are curly at the edges. Then they start on about their snowboarding holidays and their trip to Bali. Didn‘t they just finish going on about their ‘awesome' trip to Guadaloupe in June? It’s not jealously, you understand, it's just that summer is for holidays and winter is for complaining about not having holidays.