Stand alone comedy
When the Scottish comedy world falls out laughter becomes a serious business. But, as another round of allegations fly, who‘ll have the last laugh? Words: Jason Hall
As weekend compere of The Stand Comedy Clubs, Jane Mackay is more proficient than most at dealing with unruly audience members. Yet the co-director of the Glasgow and Edinburgh clubs now finds herself having to deal with heckles of a different kind from Stand stalwart and co—founder, Bill Dewar, following a recent row over performance contracts.
This is far from the first time a comedian has found cause to complain about The Stand’s restrictive booking terms, the most controversial of which is its unpopular exclusivity clause. This states that no comedian can appear at a rival club within two weeks either side of playing The Stand; or at least not without consent.
In the past, complaints have always been raised by the same few comics, primarily those who ply their trade outside the club because, as Mackay claims in typically uncompromising style, ’they are too incompetent and disaffected to have ever earned a place inside it’. This time, however, the enemy is within. As one half of The Stand’s flagship sketch show, The Useless Guide To Scotland, and regular weekly host of The World Of Comedy Quiz Show, Bill Dewar’s ’resignation’ from the club is more difficult for lvlackay to ignore.
While the initial bust-up was over the relatively trivial issue of Bill’s lack of punctuality for a Sunday night appearance, both sides seem to be treating the fall-out all too seriously. The Stand has issued an eleven-page document to all its regular acts outlining the club’s expectations and re-iterating the importance of strict adherence to all booking conditions. Dewar, meanwhile, has publicly proclaimed that ’the revolution has begun’, promising to open a rival permanent comedy venue with support from scores of disaffected comics and financial backing from mystery money men.
In the past, rival clubs have had a notoriously rough time trying to get established in the capital and The Stand's hold over the comedy fraternity via the exclusivity clause certainly doesn’t help. There is little doubt that The Stand has worked wonders in finding and establishing new Scottish talent. But if this new breed of comics are to move up to the next level and fully turn pro, they must
8 THE lIST 21 Sep—S Oct 2000
Bill Dewar has parted company with The Stand, claiming 'the revolution has begun‘
be free to work as often as possible and in a wider
variety of comedy venues.
In the vibrant London comedy scene, for example, it is common for comics to ’doubIe-up' and play two separate gigs in the same night, maximising their earning potential and gaining valuable experience of different crowds and different venues. It’s tempting to think this could never be possible with so few clubs in Scotland, yet the Joke Box at Mr.P's once offered just such an opportunity to acts playing in Glasgow, simply by virtue of its late night start. When The Stand opened its West Coast club, however, the Joke Box struggled to book acts
and has subsequently folded.
With free comedy workshops and no shortage of open spots, there are a hell of lot of Scottish based comics who can thank The Stand for giving them a start. Yet, the sad reality is that if they want to further their careers to a more professional level, they have to move to where the gigs are; which means London. The Stand has already lost the prodigal son of Scottish comedy, Allan Miller, to the big smoke. Unless a more relaxed attitude towards the freedom to perform is taken then more will
surely follow.
Jason Hall is a stand-up comedian and the publisher of the Scottish Comedy website at wwwScottishComedy. com
The Quotes
‘He‘s always made weird noises.‘
Alwen Hughes on her hubby Rolf Harris and his trademark weird n0ise thing.
‘We aim to end the Victorian attitude to public nudity as something sordid that will frighten the horses.’
A Channel 5 statement givmg the thumbs-up to a whole series of Keith ChegWin’s scuddy gameshow.
‘Just the thought of them sticking their hands up a pigeon‘s arse is not going to make your sex life fruitful.‘
Gordon Ramsay on why women should be kept out of the kitchen.
'I'm too intelligent to think people I employ go home and dream about moisture cream.‘
Eco-guru Anita Roddick admits that not all the Body Shop staff may possess her worIdView.
‘I‘ve taken it on tour in a very anarchic and demoralised way. When your monitors work in soundcheck but not on the night, you just think: “I'll have a brandy then".' . Finley Quaye searches for reasons behind his love of booze.
‘I'd hate to think how much spit I eat in a year.‘ a :9 A.A. Gill on the perils of restaurant reVieWing.
The Pipeline Coming quite soon...
All good things come to an end and two of the country’s favourite telly stars are about to bite their own particular dusts. Victor Meldrew and Endeavour Morse are the pair set to take bows from the box. John Thaw's grumpy inspector had little ch0ice in the matter though, as author Colin Dexter was the man who had already closed the book on Lewis’ boss. The Remorsefu/ Day is due for transmiSSion in November, by which time the nation Will have waved a fond(-ish) farewell to the cantankerous codger played by Richard Wilson. Without
givmg too much away, it’s more than just a foot he’s got in his grave by the end of the final series. Know what I'm saying? . . . Fringe First Winner Do-Fabrik makes a rare appearance in Scotland outvvith the Edinburgh Festival as it brings its Hopeless Games to Glasgow’s G12 in late October and Edinburgh’s St Bride’s in early November . . Irvine Welsh has put the panning of Filth he took from critics and police alike behind him and next year is set to publish a bumper novel entitled Glue . . . They may have once been described as
s0unding like the aural Irvme Welsh but Arab Strap are a pretty smooth bunch these days. Havmg returned to the Chemikal Underground fold in prodigal sons-stylee, Falkirk’s finest are releasing a Single in November and an album early next year on the label's new Fuqd id imprint , . The Scream kids may have argued that there hasn't been a successful mowe seguel, well what about decent trequels? July 2001 sees the third Jurassic Park misadventure while Arnie returns for some trilogic Terminator buSineSS some time in 2002.