CLASSIFIED I saw you
O I saw you for the first time during general studies at St Mary’s College 1986. So after fourteen years, this is probably a little overdue. WILL YOU MARRY ME? Box No U/394/38.
O I saw you Watercress gig at the Bongo Club. Girl with short red hair. You danced with friends then sat on your own. Me — red hair, black clothes and an inability to speak. Box No U/394/1.
O I saw you in ‘Beefeaters’ with Colin, Audrey and me. It may be years ago but where are you ‘Lesdora’. Graeme would love to hear how you are. Coffee and chat? Box No U/394/2.
O I saw you and now I don’t. But I hope you’re happy and found what you wanted for your needs. Remembering the good times. Enjoy the sun and keep that special smile. Box No U/394/4.
O I saw you Raemond C of Standard Life — you’re my Mr Perfect and just to let you know I will always still love you . . . W. Box No U/394/6.
. I saw you SPIKE? At The List Festival party. You: cropped hair, black T-shirt, denims, mate of Del. Me: Asian, black shorts and T/red streak through my hair, from Glasgow. Took me a while to figure you out — which isn’t usual. I asked you to pose for me, you gave a resounding ‘yup’: I’d love to continue our conversation. First time I was honest about you-know-what, if you can remember, to a stranger. I need to start working ASAP. Get in touch. Box No U/394/8. O I saw you sexy bouncer in the Rutland. You can control and restrain me anyday! Box No U/394/9.
O I saw you young female Elvis lookalike, working in the Traverse bar. I’m all shook up! You is the King. Box No U/394/10.
O I saw you blonde bombshell usher in Traverse bar. You love the swally, and I think I love you, you mother bitch. x Box No U/394/11.
O I saw you Rita. l snogged you at Lee Perry. It were lovely! You went to Mish Mash, I went home without phone number, aww! Box No U/394/12.
O I saw you J .S. Meadowbank, Paul Weller-esque shelf stacker. You can arrange my goods any time!! Box No U/394/13.
O I saw you I can’t figure out where you’re from, you exotic jewel. I’d like to own the mole on your cheek; I saw you in the Traverse with your friends. You’re sweet but you know that; let me be your insulin. Box No U/394/14.
O I saw you laughing out loud at the Traverse with your friends. You’ve got the rhythm in your Latin hips, me poor Scottish white guy. I wish I could dive in the ‘Black Sea’ of your hair, be a sandal on your toes, I feel so ordinary. I stared at you, you hypnotised me, where can I reach you. Luxembourg? Box No
U/394/ 16.
O I saw you Mr BBC Scotland DJ at Trav programme launch. Me shy redhead. (Basement?) Box No U/394/17.
Q I saw you Miss Tall, slim, curly red head at Trav party. Elle boy, blue jeans and black top. Wanna get jiggy with it? Box No U/394/ 18.
v I saw you at the Trav party (30/7/00). Dressed in black skirt as well as trousers . . . Looking lovely!! Box No U/394/19.
O I saw you gorgeous, doll- faced Traverse usher. Short red bob, rosy cheeks, dirty laugh. Want to share a Jack Daniels and coke? Box No U/394/50.
v I saw you Claire you blonde-haired beauty, 28/7/00. Maybe you would like to serve me in a cafe uno to uno basis. Your pigtails made my piglet squeal!!! Box No U/394/4l.
O I saw you dancing naked on a table — through a window on a bus, near an asylum. Make me yours, please. Box No U/394/42. O I saw you you beautiful, dark barmaid, opening bottles in Blue Bar. Me, sitting at end of bar, wishing you’d pop my cork. In anticipation, Norman xxx Box No U/394/43.
O I saw you falling off your chair - you were wasted yet quite beautiful. Blue Bar Cafe, Edinburgh 28 July, 9pm. Let’s have a drink. Box No U/394/44. . I saw you looking irresistible — with a little bit of spinach on your tooth and a dollop of mash on your chin — my kind of guy! Call me. Box No U/394/45.
O I saw you and him dancing in the rain. You were dancing cheek to cheek and I’ll never be the same. Box No U/394/46.
O I saw you Kristin R (if that is your name). Your e-mail doesn’t work. From the writer at Forest. Box No U/394/47.
O I saw you and I looked the other way - sounds familiar — good luck with AD. Box No U/394/48.
O I saw you bubbly, beautiful blonde Traverse usher with blinding smile. Still dazzled. How do you handle all that booze? Give me a call. Box No U/394/49.
. I saw you petite blonde usher in Traverse. Me tall, dark, handsome and intoxicated by your Dutch good looks. Fancy a drink sometime? Box No U/394/51.
Q I saw you Nadia at Pancho Villas on 5/8/00. You have the softest lips - ever! Call me if you need me. Box No U/394/52. O I saw you you couldn’t find your heart. Glynda knows where it is. Click your heels, it’s all there waiting for you. King Tut and her wah wahs! Box No U/394/53.
O I saw you picking gray things from under your toenails in full view of the general ~ populace. Exhibitionism is good. PS Care for a spot of fox hunting, old chap? (spifftng) Box No U/394/54.
O I saw you at ‘Mingin’ on Sat night. You, sexy Italian. Spend the night with me again. Let’s have another party. Box No U/394/56.
Q I saw you in my dreams, three nights in a row and then yesterday on the bus. You were wearing a black leather miniskirt, so was 1. Box No U/394/57.
O I saw you Gemma originally from Ballymoney, Ireland and all over. Je t’adore mademoiselle aussi bientot si possible. Box No U/394/58.
O I saw you lovely dark-haired Spanish boy in the City Cafe, 1/8/00. Earlier you’d been spotted with strange cloaked man. Love two English roses. Box No U/394/59.
v I saw you John and I thought, goddam you are HOT! You rock the walls of Millfteld Lane baby — anytime. Box No U/394/60.
O I saw you you were a real pair that really could not be disturbed by me! Box No U/394/61.
O I saw you in your lovely pink dress, nice pigtails, cute smile enjoying a big ice cream. Save your kisses for me even though you’re only three. Box No U/394/65.
Q I saw you in your Nessie novelty hat, waving a four-pack of Fosters and belching loudly while boasting about your muscular arms — what a girl! Box No U/394/66.
O I saw you ahhh, the swish of your gigantic kilt, how you beat on that big drum. Lovely Tranent tartan, come thump on my skin. Box No U/394/67.
O I saw you dragging your club foot - so cute, dusty duffle coat grumbling incoherently. Try mine for size!! Box No U/394/68.
O I saw you Biuy! In your off duty Fruit Of The Loom shellsuit, trying, in vain, to complete the TV Quick crossword. Why not check out my nightstick? Box No U/394/69.
O I saw you Zoe in the Traverse corrupting ushers with your drunken nonsense. Leave the fragile young creatures alone. From Michael F. Box No U/394/70.
O I saw you Fe, sometimes freedom feels like an endurance test. ‘Love fucks you up but loneliness can kill you.’ Box No U/394/7l.
O I saw you sexy manager in Lorenzos restaurant. Me, curly- haired weegie!! Box No U/394/72.
O I saw you drinking alcohol in the City Cafe. You had a penis, a big one, I hope! Want to meet? Box No U/394/73.
Q I saw you two theatre nurses, eating fine food and drinking wine from small bottles like a pair of winos in Princes Street Gardens! Come juice me up! Box No U/394/74.
O I saw you in the rain, July, waiting for a bus to Glasgow. You, second year Law, me, dry in the doorway. Might have a job for you! Box No U/394/75. O I saw you Safeways Ferry Road, 2nd August. You short dark hair, bespectacled, black cords, green Ka. Me tall, goatee, untypieally scruffy. Waited for an intro, maybe another time? Box No U/393/l8.
O I saw you Rhodes & Co tall host with fair hair, only working on Fridays and Saturdays. You know who I am, please contact. Box No U/393/19.
Q I saw you my Angel, I think we’re alone now . . . at last. Will you dance around the world with me? I love you baby, Audrey xxx Box No U/393/21. O I saw you at Starbucks coffee shop in Waterstone’s Bookshop. We introduced ourselves. Perhaps we could meet again for another cafe latte. Box No U/393/22.
O I saw you naked spiky- haired Bar Kohl man. Did you lose your chalk at Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry? I’ve got sorbet and ideas to spice up your portfolio. Want some? Box No U/393/25.
O I saw you on comer of Yeaman Place and Dundee Street (Fountainpark) Fri 4 Aug, 14.30 approx. You — cute guy with dark hair, blue fleecy jacket and black trousers. Me - dark hair with red/blue shirt and blue trousers with male friend. Caught your eye several times. Sorry, couldn’t speak. Get in touch. Box No U/393/26.
O I saw you 9.15am, Thursday 3/8/00, Haymarket, walking towards city centre. You, long blonde hair, long tight white skirt, black top. I just had to mention you. It took me the rest of the day to calm down. Box No U/393/27.
V I saw you long blond sexy hair, red sexy shoes, long tasty legs, black top netted, red bra. Call me. Box No U/393/28.
. I saw you lovely lady with gold trousers at the Trav party. Me in black. you looked stunning. Box No U/393/29.
O I saw you dodgy man with ‘tache in Real Foods. We ‘nose’ everything! Box No U/393/30. O I saw you Bananaman. Breakfast in bed? You bring the sausages . . .You know I know what you want. Box No U/393/31.
O I saw you Benji-boy in the Traverse bar on the night of 30th July. Big brother is watching you - cha cha cha. Box No U/393/32.
v I saw you after Ridiculusmus’s brilliant performance of Say Nothing. You had your Pokemon cards and brown hair. I want to see you again. Box No U/393/33. 0 I saw you monkey! Pouring cocktails in the Traverse bar. You are English and smell of creamed rice. When can we go bananas? Box No U/393/34.
O I saw you gorgeous twins at Artism desk in Traverse. Will you do anything together? Box No U/393/35.
O I saw you the Caley sleeper: a stunning blonde — home to Arbroath from London prospecting. Upright from Crewe, rail brownie couldn’t compensate. Can I make it up to you? Neil. Box No U/393/36. O I saw you sexy guy with brown satchel by the Links (18.00). I had a G&T and gave you the eye. You want to join me for a heavy drinking session some time? Box No U/393/37. Q I saw you around Tollcross lots but not for ages. Where have you gone Jamie? Last time we talked about you sailing — why don’t you raise your rigging with me? Box No U/393/38.
17-24 Aug 2000 TIIE IJST 49