COMEDY listings
The laughing
They make you laugh; we ma
.19 3p”:
‘. at?
Square sausage or round?
bag
e them squeal. This issue: Martin Bigpig.
fit“?
I like square, but always nibble the corners off first.
What five words best describe you? I’ve got some magic beans!
If you were a pie, what would your filling be? Beard. Have you ever tried beard pie? Mmmm, yummy.
What's the best use of a beard? Faking a career in comedy.
Where's your favourite tattoo, and what's it of? On Pamela Anderson’s arm; it's a bit of barbed wire.
If you were the only girl in the world, who'd be the only boy?
Ru Paul.
What in your act shouldn't we try at home?
The stage diving.
Now that Jeffrey Archer isn't going to be Lord Mayor of London, what's the
best use for him?
An example to young people that being a lying, twisted, money-grabbing, publicity-seeking bastard doesn't pay. All the time.
What scares you most, The Blair Witch Project, or The Blair Political Project? The Blair Witch Project is a bunch of people running around completely lost,
whereas The Blair Political Project is . . .
What book would you most like to see made into a film?
Halliwell‘s Film Guide.
What's your advice to Kevin Keegan and Craig Brown?
Boot it up to a big lad at the front.
And finally . . . why should we come and see your show? It would be something to do, if you’re not busy. Oh, and I get my tits out.
(Compiled by Steve Cramer)
I Martin Bigpig plays The Stand Comedy Club, part of Hogmanay Hootfest at The Stand, 5 York Place, on Mon 27—Thu 30 Dec 8r Sat l—Mon 3 Jan (10.30pm), and
Fri 31 Dec & Tue 4 Jan (9pm).
COMEDY LISTINGS continued
Stand Up Scotland The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 6pm. £5 (£4). Alan Miller hosts this Scottish showcase, featuring new comedy kids on the block Keara Murphy, Eric Davidson, Bene Linchesticov and double act Rutherford and Merson. Part of Hogmanay Hoot est.
Best Of Scottis Comedy The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). It does exactly what it says on the tin apparently - tonight’s top Scots are sporting hero Vladimir McTavish and political polemicist John Flint, with compete Susan Morrison. Part of Hogmanay Hootfest.
The Stand 5 York Place, 558 7272. 10.30pm. £7 (£6). Featuring beardy weirdy Martin Bigpig, Frankie Boyle — apparently a chip off the Connolly block — double act Rutherford and Merson and newcomer Nick Findlay, with comp Jane Mackay. Part of Hogmana y Hoorfest.
S The Comedy Church Flanagan's Bar, 48—52 Gallowgate Square, 01475 675767. 9.30pm. Free. Christmas-time comedy from Reg ‘voodoo’ Anderson, Viv Gee and mirth controller Raymond Mearns.
88 THE LIST 16 Dec 1999—6 Jan 2000
TUESDAY 28 Edinburgh Free And Easy The Stand. 5 York Place, 558 7272. 1—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. See Mon 27. Stand-Up Scotland The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 6pm. £5 (£4). Or sit yourself down fora stand-up selection hosted by Allan Miller and featuring Fin MacArthur, Martin Furby. Keara Murphy and Stevie G. Part of Hogmanay Hootfesr. Best Of Scottish Comedy The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8pm. £6 (£5). Hostess with the mostess Susan Morrison introduces Vladimir McTavish, the unsung hero of Scottish sport and regular laughmeister John Gillick. Part of Hogmanay H oorfesr. The Stand 5 York Place, 558 7272. 10.30pm. £7 (£6). Martin Bigpig and Frankie Boyle are your main comedy men, with special guests Graeme Thomas and Bene Linchesticov, not forgetting your host Jane Mackay. Part of Hogmanay Hoorfesr.
Falkirk
The Kitchen Comedy Club Behind The Wall, 14 Melville Street, 01324 633338. 9pm. £5. Cooking up a comedy platter are Joe Heenan, Susanne Fraser and Gordon Brunton.
WEDNESDAY 29
Edinburgh
Free And Easy The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. See Mon 27.
Stand-Up Scotland 5 York Place, 558 7272. 6pm. £5 (£4). Martin Furby and Teddy represent the cuddly toy brigade of comedy in a line-up which also features John Littlejohn, Keara Murphy and compete Allan Miller. Part of Hogmuiiuy' Hoorfesr.
Best Of Scottish Comedy 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). John Gillick engages in some righteous riposte while John Flint is politically polemical and Susan Morrison is . . . the compere. Part of Hogmarray Hoorfesr.
The Stand 5 York Place, 558 7272. 10.30pm. £7 (£6). Tonight's big the funsters are Martin Bigpig, Frankie Boyle. Bill Dewar, Eric Davidson and comp Jane Mackay. Purl of Hogmanuy Hoorfes'r.
THURSDAY 30
Glasgow
Cosy Comedy Cafe The State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 9.30pm. £4 (£3). Scottish impressionist Gerry Grant goes for giggles, with support to be confirmed.
Edinburgh
Hogmanay Hootfest The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. See Mon 27.
Free And Easy The Stand, 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1-3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. See Mon 27. Part ()fHogmanay Hoot/est.
Stand-Up Scotland The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 6pm. £5 (£4). Tonight‘s rising stand-up stars are Dougie Dunlop. Keara Murphy, John Littlejohn and comedy novice Nick Findlay. with hyperactive host Allan Miller. Parr ()fllogmurtuy Hoorfesr. Best Of Scottish Comedy The Stand. 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). Compere Susan Morrison keeps a watchful eye over the comedy capers of Scottish sportsman Vladimir McTavish and stand-up supremo John Gillick. Part offing/nimuy Hoot/est.
The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 10.30pm. £7 (£6). Resident acts Martin Bigpig and Frankie Boyle are joined for comedy kicks by Bill Dewar and Graeme Thomas, not forgetting feisty funster Jane Mackay as compete. l’art ()fllogmuitay Hoorfesr.
Edinburgh
Free And Easy The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. See Mon 27.
Stand-Up Scotland The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 6pm. £5 (£4). Fin MacArthur, Teddy the teenage terrorist. Martin Furby, Keara Murphy and compere Graeme Thomas represent the new breed of comedy kid tonight. Part of Hog/nanny Hoorfesr.
The Stand Hogmanay Special 5 York Place. 55S 7272. 9pm. £25 including a meal and a dram. Cracking pre-millennial comedy quips are resident fun guys Martin Bigpig, Frankie Boyle and Jane Maekay. with guests Bill Dewar and John Littlejohn. Part of Hogmanuy Hoorfest.
NEW YEAR’S DAY
Edinburgh
Free And Easy The Stand, 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. See Mon 27.
Stand-Up Scotland The Stand. 5 York Place, 558 7272. 6pm. £5 (£4). New stand- up. new jokes (hopefully) featuring comedy newcomers Teddy. Fin MacArthur, Keara Murphy, Bene Linchesticoy and compete Graeme Hill. Part of Hogmanay Hootfest. Best Of Scottish Comedy The Stand. 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). Hot Scottish humour from sporting hero Vladimir McTavish and body political John Flint. with compere Susan Morrison. Part of Hog/nanny H ootfest.
The Stand 5 York Place, 558 7272. 10.30pm. £7 (£6). Post-millennial mayhem with club regulars Martin Bigpig and
Frankie Boyle. guests Bill Dewar and Stevie (3. plus your hostess Jane Mackay. Part of Hogmumry Hour/11st. i
Edinburgh
Free And Easy The Stand. 5 York Place. 55S 7372. 1—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. See Mon 27'.
Stand-Up Scotland The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7.173. 6pm. £5 (£4). Comedy antics of the up-and-corning nature from John Littlejohn. Keara Murphy. Steyie G, Nick Findlay and compere Allan Miller. Purl offing/Munro" Hoorfes't.
Best Of Scottish Comedy The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). The tartan-trewed Vladimir BiCiitYlSh arid political pundit John Hint stand tip for Scottish stand-tip. in the company of compete Susan Morrison. I’m-r of Hiigmtirniy' llimrlt'xr.
The Stand 5 York Place. 55“ 7.372. 10.30pm. £7 (£6). 'l‘onigln‘s stars of stage and stand-up are resident acts Martin Bigpig and Frankie Boyle, coinpere Jane Mackay and special guests Fin MacArthur and Teddy the teenage terrorist. Part of l Hogrrrurtuy' I I ()()lft'.\l.
Edinburgh Free And Easy The Stand. 5 York Place. 55S 7373. l—3pm. Free with drinks or a
meal. See Mon 27.
Stand-Up Scotland The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. (rpm. £5 (£4). (ietting
; fresh and funny are poet liric Dayidson. Fin
MacArthur. (iraerne Thomas and Keara Murphy. with compere .\llan Miller. Part of Hognnrmry Hour est.
Best Of Scottis Comedy The Stand. 5 York Place. 553 7273. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). Tonight's local heroes are \"ladiinir Mc'layisli and the fast-talking John Flint. with compere Susan Morrison. Port of Hognturnry Himtfest.
The Stand 5 York Place. 558 72.72. 10.30pm. £7 (£6). Frankie Boyle and sideshow superstar Martin Bigpig are your residents. with compere Jane .‘ylackay. plus support from 'l‘eddy the teenage terrorist and John Little-john. l’urr (if/logiirriiniy Houtft'xl.
Largs
The Comedy Church Flanagan's Bar, 48—52 (iallowgate Square. 0147.5 675767. 9.30pm. Free. New year. new yarns. courtesy of Dougie Dunlop. Bill Dewar and comp Raymond Mearns.
Edinburgh ’ Free And Easy The Stand. 5 York Place.
558 7272. l--3pm. Free with drinks or a 1 meat. See Mon 27.
The Stand 5 York Place. 558 727:. 9pm.
£7 (£6). Residents Martin Bigpig and
Frankie Boyle team tip with the tartan-
trewed Vladimir .‘y‘le'l‘ay ish for one final
fling of funnyness. Jane Mackay comperes and there is one open spot. Part of
Hog/nurtin ll()()ljt'.\l.
Edinburgh
World Of Comedy Quiz The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £1 per person to play. Bill Dewar initiates you into the strange world of comedy triy ta, spurred on by a potential £llitl rolloyer jackpot.
THURSDAY 6
Glasgow
Cosy Comedy Cafe The State Bar. 14% Holland Street. 332 215‘). 9.30pm. £4 (£3). Lee 'the gay Bernard .‘ylanning' .\'ess is the host at this weekly laugh-fest. featuring familiar faces from the comedy circuit.
Edinburgh
The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm.
£4 (£3). Joe Heenan, Eric Davidson. Jack Weatherall and Stand y irgin (‘ormac
O‘Hara make up the comedy crew — with I compere Joon Broon. i