You've seen those ads: two blokes, beers in hand, letting the roll of the dice decide how the night progresses. Well, in conjunction with Rolling Rock, The List threw a double six and headed out to gamble a load Of dOSh. ‘."‘."o"<:s: Jonathan Trew Protogianv: Steve Reid
THE QUESTION '00 YOU KNOW ANY JOURNALISTS WHO
like to drink and gamble'." is similar to enquiring il' bears
are renowned for heading into the woods with a roll of
Andres in their paw. So when a Rolling Rock representative phoned The List and said they‘d give its £400 and a crate ol~ their lager -~ with a mission to demolish both — it was a bit like waking tip on (‘hristmas Day and finding that litirby on your pillow alter all.
Just to ensure that everything didn't run too smoothly. l was to roll a set of dice in order to determine what to do. Roll an odd number and have a bottle ol‘ Rolling Rock. roll
an even number and have two Rolling Rocks. that sort oi~
thing. .-\s an added challenge. I decided to lit in as many legal forms ol‘ betting as possible. starting with the Lottery and culminating in a trip to the casino.
Now. there‘s a theory that states il‘ you drink one bottle of beer an hour. then no matter how many bottles ol‘ beer you drink. you will never become drunk. Your body supposedly breaks down the alcohol at the same rate as you swallow it. and you stay sober. It all sounds plausible. btit then that one about the earth being lilat probably rang true at the time. In practice it is. ol’ course. nonsense.
Bearing this in mind. we started the afternoon with a few little sharpeners. then the dice were ptit into action to pick the winning numbers for the evening‘s rolloyei' [.ottery draw. A trip to the bookies l'ollowed and. while the dice speed tip the decision-iiiaking process. they are no respecter of form. (‘ommon sense might suggest that a healthy horse which had won its last four races was in with a shout. btit the dice reckoned any old donkey with a death
24 THE lIST3 i/ OM 1998
Common sense
might suggest that a healthy horse which had won its last four races was in with'a shout, but the dice reckoned any old donkey with a death wish was more likely to romp home.
wish was more likely to ronip home. There l’ollowed a losing streak that would make liddie the liagle blush.
Back in the boo/er. we binned the dice and sought solace in Rolling Rock. which proved a damn sight more reliable than lady luck. Suitably strengthened. it was time to pick tip hardened gamblers l'at Laps. Dead liye Davey and their iiiolls tor a trip to the dogs.
By this stage. rational thought was a distant memory and. using highly scientilic methods such as liking a dog‘s name and seeing whether or not it drooled on its way to the traps. our little group proceeded to clean tip. Which is where the trouble started.
l5|tish with success and a few celebratory swallies. the bright lights of the casino beckoned tis in and sucked us dry. lnitial wins on the roulette table provoked a conl‘idence that just couldn‘t be lived tip to when it came to blackjack. The turning point came when we used a losing Lottery slip to light a comedy-si/ed cigar while singing an oil-key rendition ol~ '\'iva l.as Vegas‘. Literally and metaphorically. the dream of hitting thejackpot went tip in smoke and we chased our losses until we had to chase our tails home.
Would I do it again‘.’ ()i' does the life ol. the wideboy with the wad leave a sinking l‘eeling the next morning'.’ l)o bears shit in the woods”?
Thanks to Vegas for help with the photo shoot. The next Vegas night is at the old Stakis Casino on Picardy Place, Edinburgh, Sat 5 Dec, and then at Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh, Sat 19 Dec.