TELEVISION LISTINGS
I Champions: llard Hitting Women (Channel 4) ‘)—l()pm. Rather unfortunate timing for this filtii about the world of female boxing. ‘Dangerous' Deirdre from Dublin prepares for her world title fight in Kansas City. while in England preparations are made for the first women’s tournament.
I The 10 Per centers (Scottish) 9.30—10pm. The chaotic West Etid talent agency is in uproar as Dominic loses a libel action against Private live.
I Scottish Women (Scottish)
10.30—1 1.30pm. Kaye Adams hosts another tabloidish debate about young women and sex. Guests include the teenager who lost her virginity at thirteen and celebrated with a champagne party thrown by her mother.
I That’s Football! (Channel 4) llpiii—12.3()am. A revealing behind-the- scenes look at the players and staff of Swindon Town as they fight for promotion in the 92—93 season. The camaraderie and optimism on screen is somewhat tempered by our knowledge that this year they‘ve gone straight back down again.
I Assignment: Allah’s Army (BBC2 ) 7.45—8.30pm. A report from inside the
TU The List () -|‘) May l‘)‘)4
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Hizbollah. fanatical Shiite fundamentalists responsible for the kidnapping of Western hostages.
I Travels A La Carte (Channel 4) 8-8.30pm. A treat for bourgeois gourmets everywhere as Sophie Grigson jaunts around Europe chatting to numerous lovely little peasant men about their traditional cookery. She drags along husband William Black to talk frankly about fish.
I Without Walls: Little Angels, Little Devils (Channel 4) 9- 10pm. Poet and journalist Blake Morrison takes a personal look at our idea ofchildhood, questioning the images adults assign to children.
I The Biii Bait Element (BBC 1) l()—l().5()pni. Roger (Ronald Pickup). Declan (Cal Macaninch) and Mort (Richard Hope) head for the woods fora Wild Man Weekend and a journey of self- discovery.
I Aunt Julia And The Scriptwriter (Channel 4) l()piii—midniglit. Jon Amiel‘s adaptation of Mario Vargas Llosa's novel works surprisingly well. mainly due to astute casting. Peter Ealk is the Albanian- baitiiig radio storyteller drawing heavily for inspiration on the affair between raunchy Barbara Hershey and her gauche nephew Keanu Reeves.
I Network First: Professional Beggar (Scottish) 1040-] 1.40pm. The story of fundraiser Oliver Foot‘s struggle to keep the Orbis lntemational Flying Eye Hospital going. The hospital flies out to remote regions to restore sight to inhabitants of the world‘s deprived regions.
I The Liieboat (BBC 1) 8—8.50pm. Episode three of the Lynda l.a Plante drama finds failing eyesight threatening an end to Hughie Joiies's dedicated lifeboat service.
I The Net (BBCZ) 8—8.30pm. Rajan Datar explores the possibilities of a
customised mobile home. fitted with the latest in computer technology.
I Screen Two: Hope In The Year Two (BBC2) 9.30—l0. 10pm The second Danton performance of the week in Trevor Griffiths‘s cerebral exploration of questions of identity and reality. set iii the height of the French Revolutionary ‘Terror'.
I Naked City (Channel 4) HUS—11.50pm. Caitlin Moran and Johnny Vaughan present the music tiiagazine show. with Brand New Heavies and Echobelly.
THURSDAY 12
I The Book Report (Scottish) 8.30—9pm. A new series of the fat man with the foot- iii-the-door investigative technique.
I The Crystal Maze (Channel 4) 8.30—9.30pm. A new series of the unaccountany popular action game show for leisure centre assistants everywhere. The bald geezer has been replaced by Edward Tudor-Pole who last impinged on the public consciousness singing ‘Swords ()f A Thousand Men' on Top ()f'l'lie Pops.
I Joking Apart (BBCZ) 9—9.30pm. The excellently barbed comedy about the breakup of comedian Mark's (Robert Bathurst) marriage to Becky (Fiona Gillies). and the excruciating attempts of their friends to cheer him up.
I Cardiac Arrest (BBC 1 ) 9.30—10pm. The deliciously black hospital drama continues with art episode memorably entitled ‘You Can't Make Ati Omelette Without Breaking Legs'.
I True Brits: The Ambassador’s Story (BBCZ) 9.30—10.20pm. More insights into British foreign policy are unveiled as Ambassador to Saudi Arabia David Gore- Booth negotiates our cause in the Middle East, before returning to London to face questioning from the Scott Enquiry.
I Europe Express (Channel 4) 8—8.30pm. A new series of the continental current affairs round-up digging up some of the less obvious stories around Europe.
I 999 (BBC!) 9.35—10.25pm. Accidents and near-disasters reconstructed for the edification of all. tonight focusing on the skill and courage of a Royal Navy helicopter pilot.
I Jo Brand Through The oakehole (Channel 4) 1030—1 1.05pm. The last of a frankly flabby series. let down by the fact that Brand has only one gear. and it is beginning to prove wearing. Viewing figures have been good though.
I To Live And Die In LA (Scottish) l().30pm—12.35am. William Eriedkin directs a pacy tale of vice. guilt and counterfeiting in I.os Angeles. Plenty of car chases and sleaze almost atone for the incoherent script.
I Beavis And Butthead (Channel 4)
l 1.35piii—12.05aiii. ls it cool or does it suck?
I oanger Theatre (BBC2)
11.45pm—12. 10am. A couple of spoof playlets offering Naked Glut-style parodies of crime-fighting dramas.
I Parting Glances (Channel 4)
12.05— 1 .4()am. Reservoir Dog Steve Buscemi excels iii Bill Sherwood‘s realistic portrayal of a day iii the lives of three New York gays.
SATURDAY 14
I Bring Me Sunshine (BBC 1) 7.50—8.30pm. First ofthree (count ‘em) tributes to Eric Morecambe. the 70s version of Vic Reeves. Ben Elton hosts the first show which looks at the frankly strange domestic life of Eric and Ernie (the 70s Bob Mortimer? Perhaps not.) I Sexual Imperative (Channel 4) 8—9pm. A repeat showing of the documentary series looking at sexuality from a biological and anthropological point of view, opening with a look at other species' approach to reproduction.
I Fine out: Moving The Mountain (BBCZ) 8.30—9.40pm. Michael Apted‘s film looks at the determination of young Chinese to maintain the struggle for democracy after Tiananmen Square. See pl’CVlCW.
I NYPD Blue (Channel 4) ‘)~- 10pm. More gritty antics with Kelly. Sipowicl. and the rest of the precinct boys.
I Blind Date (BBC l ) 9.30—1 lpm. Bruce Willis gets his first starring role in this relentlessly awful Blake Edwards comedy. He plays a yuppie stupidly plying Kim Basinger with champagne on a blind date. I Gimme Health: It’s A Girl (Channel 4) lO—l 1.05pm. Imelda Staunton hosts a satirical look at women's health. with contributions front Jo Brand (of course). Attila Dobson. Claire Rayner and Tlioi'a Hird (!).
SUNDAY 15
I Scottish Passport (Scottish) (i.3()—7pm. Bryan Burnett and Katie Wood offer more tips on trips home and abroad.
I The Knock (Scottish) 9—lopni. The brave boys of the Customs and Excise man our defences against tricky foreign johnnies with coloiis ftill of high-grade cocaine. or something.
I Family (BBCl ) ‘).35—l().25piii. The second part of Roddy Doyle‘s Dublin series continues the story of the disintegrating Spencer family.
I Don’t Look Down (Scottish) ll.lSpm—midnight. Janice l-‘orsyth presents a topical look at the Scottish arts scene. with discussion and pei‘foriiiaiices. I The South Bank Show (Scottish) Midnight—lam. A profile of artist Christian Boltanski.
MONDAY 16
I Babylon 5 (Channel 4) (i—7pm. A brand new science-fiction series from the States that boasts scriptwriters from Star 'l‘rek. state-of—the-art effects and aliens with amusing hairstyles. See preview.
I The Ben And Stimpy Show (BBC‘Z) 6.25—6.50pm. The cult cat and voguisli chihuahua up to no good again. in my day we watched Top Cu! and were grateful.
I Scottish Women (Scottish) 10.30—11.30an Kaye Adams hosts another dose of distaff debate.
I The Day I Nearly Died (Scottish) 8.30—9piti. IT\"s tacky equivalent of the BBC's already dubious 999. Disasters covered so far include Hillsbtil'titlgll. Lockerbie and Piper Alpha. Tonight promises us a juicy air crash.
I Once Upon A Time In The North (BBC 1) 8.30—9pni. Bernard Hill stars as weekend socialist [en in Tim lt‘irth's slightly condescending sitcom about flat cap sorts.
I Men or The World (BBCI) 9.35—l0.05plt). A Iess-than—sciiiullaung male bonding sitcom with shades of Rising Dump. written by Daniel Peacock.
WEDNESDAY 18
I Frasier (Channel 4) l()r-l().3(lplll. The ('lit'ers spin off continues. w ill) neurotic psychiatrist l'i'asier Crane (Kelsey Grammer) still trying to get a grip.
I Naked City (Channel 4)
ll.()5—l l.55pm. Live music and assorted daft items hosted by Caitlin Moran and Johnny Vaughan.
THURSDAY 19
I The CDON Report (Scottish) 8.30— ()pm. Foot-in-the-door reportage with the impressively-girthed saiictinioiiious one. Biff! Thwack!
I Cardiac Arrest ( BBCI ) ‘).3l)— iopm. More medical mishaps iii the frightening hospital black comedy.
I Bagdad Cate (Scottish)
l().35—l l.()5pni. More laughs amid the burgers arid the dust in this US comedy set in a desert diner.