LETTERS
Seen anything good at the Edinburgh Festival yet, or are you already bored with the whole shebang. Whether you want to slag us off for wasting your time or slap us on the back for highlighting that gem ofa show, write and tell us. As an added inducement, the best
suggest that l was in danger of blowing my top you would be in danger ofunderstatement. ‘Why?’ you ask. and I‘ll tell you. It‘s bad enough hassling round the town while the Festival is on. tourists are a bit like sheep. they follow the flock most of the time and ifyou knock one down its not really missed. The crowded pavements and roads I can stand. but when the whole of Princes Street is blocked off without
Lisztomania t
Not having meta hyena, let alone one with halitosis, I can’t say 3 whether they are sexy are not. One suspects not. Nor have 1 yet had a chance to play Listo.’ as presented in 3 the last issue, but having read all the instructions and different Listol, Break-a-leg and Tread The Boards options, lcan’t wait. IfI say it is completely inspired: a very funny
89's.“? ' L.J
concept, full of great great gags and puns on the whole Fringe Thang. and I omit to point out that it is all on a cramped, hard to read board for which you need a x64 magnifying glass, will you give me a bottle of tequila?
Mary Grant
Windward Road
East Kilbride.
If we thank you profusely for your kind words Mary and fail to give you the tequila, will you still love us? We hope so.
Altered states
lam writing this from the bottom of the Scotsman Steps and I wish to register a complaint. What remains of my clothing is not suitable to my gender. 1 have hairs caught in my teeth (no I will not say from where or from whom they came). I have bruises in places I didn’t even know I had places and one of my cars has been gnawed off.
All this is due to Listo.’ At first I thought it was a fun game. I spent what seemed to be four successive turns practising Nanook-style eskimo kisses with the lissome-tongued thespian playing opposite me. Then it all went badly wrong. My company was supplied with large amounts of amphetamines forcing me to take two more turns. 1 had to eat a hamster for publicity reasons and was arrested on Princes Street whilst attempting to stage a Haagen Dazs advert.
My life is in ruins. my girlfriend won’t talk to me, lam obsessed by the idea that I’m taking part in a production of Whoops Vicar, that’s my Merkin and my brilliant new play: Confrontational Old Trout Fishing with Esther Rantzen has been banned by the public censor.
I’ll never be able to show my face in this town again, unless . . . you award me a bottle ofJose Cuervo Gold Tequila.
Its in your hands!
Peter Crawford
Warrender Park Road
Edinburgh.
Tequila for degenerates Peter? Sorry, but the Jose Gold is just too good for you.
The Music Lovers
Another year. another Festival and once again the snooty toffs of Edinburgh’s New Town are lording around because their city is at the hub of all things cultural. The usually sensible List is even teaming with adverts and other junk to do with the galaxy moving (not) event.
I hate to disabuse the matrons of Marchmont and Morningside but an advert in The List 181 quite clearly indicates the site of Scotland’s cultural capital. Ifyou look at the advert for the Edinburgh Castle Concerts you will notice that Nigel Kennedy. Mike Oldfield and Wet Wet Wet will all be appearing. While the good citizens of Edinburgh have given the blandest group in the known world a sell out gig and there are only a few tickets to go for the insipid hippy songster Mike Old Field, the no-mean fiddler Nigel Kennedy, supported by the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra no less. still has plenty of tickets left. Oh Edinburgh. where are your cultural credentials now?
letter we publish wins a bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila.
I Stan Egan
Dalmally Street Glasgow.
Crimes of Passron Listo.’what can I say? Brilliant? Marvellous? Don‘t play it with your grandma? Scandalous? All these and more. But tell me, have you taken out insurance against all those romping couples who will be citing Listo.’ when they sue for divorce after partner-swapping orgies brought about by your game? Are those shows really made up. or have you just picked a few of the more normal ones from the pages of the Fringe Programme? Also. how about a full colour cut-out spinner on the front cover for all those too mean to go out and buy a dice?
Tom ‘Trivia‘ Watson
St Leonard‘s Street
Edinburgh.
.s JOE " CUERV
Every Listo.’ game carries a List health warning: Playing this game will enhance your extramarital love life. As foryou Tom Trivia. your letter has enhanced your drinks cupboard by a bottle o f extremely tasty J ose Cuervo Gold Tequila which awaits you in our office.
Billion DollarBrain
I am livid. lam cross. If you were to
so much as a by your leave I think its pathetic.
Oh. very spectacular. I must say. All those floats and music. I‘m sure the kiddies love it and the tourists too. but as a common or garden Edinburgh citizen I have just tried to get to Waverley Station from the New Town. Not a hard task. normally. but if there's sixteen bloody miles ofcavorting Festival in your way it‘s a bit hard to get there in time to catch your train. So instead ofgcntly breezing off for a quiet time in Linlithgow. I‘m stuck here in town.
Andrew Sargent
Dundas Street
Edinburgh.
And what were you wanting to ‘breeze off to Linlithgowfor anyway A ndrew? It might have escaped your attention that there were. oh. a few thousand folk lining the route ofthe Festival Cavalcade. Hardly ‘unannounced ' we think.
Post Script
Address your letters to: The List Letters at:
14 High Street. Edinburgh Elll l'l'E.
Of Old Athenaeum Theatre. 179 Buchanan Street.
§ (ilasgow (i1 ZJZ.
0f i Fax them to: ()31 557 8500. I We will notprintyourfull address or l phone number. butyou must include { them. Deadline is the Monday he ore publication. Long letters may be cut. 1 The best letter next issue will win a ' bottle ofJose (,‘ueri'o Tequila.
NEXT ISSUE OUT THURSDAY 27 AUGUST
Over 100 reviews of the hottest shows in the Edinburgh Festival and Fringe.
Plus celebrity interviews, exclusive ticket giveaways and Eleanor Bron on her Fringe.
OUT NEXT WEEK !
100 The List 21 - 27 August 1992
Printed by Scottish County Press, Sherwood Industrial Estate, Bonnyrigg. Midlothian. Tel: 031 663 2404.