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I This one was censored trom the Kama Sutra on the grounds ot improbabillty. Bruce Willis experiments in human chemistry while dabbling in criminal alchemy in the surreal comedy Hudson Hawk. See Film review page 23.
I Passport to a land ot unlimited tast-lood tranchises. A new exhibition celebrates the impact at ltatian emigrants on Scottish culture at the
' NationalLibrary ot Scotland
in Edinburgh. See Art
preview page 56.
SHORT
LIST
(Sponsored this issue by Yugoslav Laski Riesling. Still a bargain if you can find it in the shops. Best buy the 1 litre 3 bottle though.) Dry, fruity and very refreshing, these Shortlist stories are a bargain. Impress your friends with their crisp bouquet and piquancy, not to mention their lingering aftertaste, and ability to make you feel just that little bit out ofit . . .
THE EDINBURGH PLAYHOUSE NEW-FANGLED Press department has been swinging into action with some riveting tales to plug their latest production, the NorAndrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of The Opera. They would have us believe that there is a phantom haunting the Playhouse, who was first discovered back in the 505. A policeman investigating noises on level 6 bumped into Albert the Maintenance manager, who assured him that everything was in order. Reporting back to security, the policeman was informed that (adopt eerie west Country accent here) ‘Albert’s been dead nigh on twenty year.’ Actually, anyone who’s been on the receiving end of attention from the Playhouse ‘security’ staff during one of their rock gigs will know that spooks are distinctly less scary.
THE END OF AN ERA, or what? Last week saw the formal end of the British Women’s Temperance
Association Scottish branch. who regretfully gave up their struggle against the demon drink north of the border after a century of saying ‘pineapple juice for me please.‘ Liberal licensing laws and the ready availability ofcheap and delicious a Yugoslav Laski Riesling had hit their membership hard. President Margaret Duncan, 84 years sober. said, ‘society no longer sees drinking as a problem, and young women these days are just not interested in joining the temperance movement.’ The association has, in a somewhat ironic gesture, passed on all its records and artefacts to Edinburgh Lord Provost Eleanor McLaughlin. who, being a sensible woman, cannot be averse to a drop of the old Laski herself.
YUGOSLAVIA, HOME OF THE celebrated Laski Riesling has seemingly been in the news for other reasons of late. The Daily Record
duly did its best to bring home the
true horrors ofwar in Slovenia to its Scottish readers. ‘As sirens wailed,’
it told us, ‘shoppers dived for cover I
Athletics Club. lfyou want to polish
7 Athletics Association if you require
an adjudication on whether ginseng
' WOULD YOU LIKE TO see your ; product tastefully inserted into the copy in this section ofthe magazine?
in a chilling parallel of what an air raid on Sauchiehall Street would look like.’ Do the Record know something we don‘t? Are the Yugos going to annex Strathclyde after bringing the Slovenians back into the fold? The paper’s ongoing policy of making events relevant to parochial Scots was echoed in its coverage of the collapse ofthe Luxembourg-based Bank International which apparently carried the accounts of a substantial number of Scottish restaurateurs. Friday night carousers will be shocked to learn that their local curry house could well be a victim of the crash. So ifyour lamb korma goes up by 50p, you know who to blame.
‘RUNNERS ARE SMILERS’ might come as some surprise to anyone who saw Linford Christie and Marcus Adam cocking up the relay changeover at the European Cup meeting, but that’s the title ofa special two-mile race being organised by the Sri Chinmoy
up that serene grin and leg it around the track on Wednesday 17 July, contact Alan Spence at 21 Waverley Park, Edinburgh EH8 8ER, or turn up at the Meadows in Edinburgh at 7pm. Contact the Scottish Amateur '
is regarded as a prohibited
substance.
No problem. as we Laski Riesling
. drinkers say. Simply put details of
your bid (cash or commodities) in an
envelope and send it to the Shortlist
writer care of the usual address. Depending on how much you offer. glowing references to your product can be included in the usual Shortlist copy. ()ur generosity should be bottled, ratherlike. . .(yes. ()K. we get the drift).
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'l’he List l2-— ZSJuly [WI 3