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OBLOMOV,116-122 Byres Road, Glasgow. These days in the Westendesstraat you'll find a bar that will redefine your idea of a Dutch treat. Inspired by a night of capricious abandon in an Amsterdam 'brun cafe' of the same name, Ublomov is the first barto bring a traditional Netherland look to Glasgow. Because it's open all day you'll have plenty of time to check out the bric a brac, ranging from antique clocks and biscuit tins to a refurbished Dutch television. And, just like the Heineken, it was all deftly smuggled from Holland. But Ublomov's real coup decor is its light fixtures. No two are alike. Ask for advice on some deKuypers liqueurs, then go a few rounds with Stella and you'll be a dutchman too.

DILLINGER'S, Kings Stables Road, Edinburgh. John Dillinger's guys and molls are back in town and Edinburgh may never be the same again. So pack up your troubles in a violin case and head on down to 28 Kings Stables Road to dance the nights away Thursdays through Sundays. With two dancefloors, a computerized light show and lavishly stocked bars, you could well forget that bathtub gin was ever the order ofthe day. And, ifyou're in the mood for snuggling up to the silverscreen with the notorious Stella Anois, Dillinger's got you covered with sixteen videos on one wall. Hidden cameras on the ceiling mean it'll take more than an old fedora to keep you incognito from the mob on the street.

BAD ASS CLUB, Clyde Place, Glasgow. What was formerly Glasgow's Central Station is fast becoming Glasgow's central nightspot. lts self- proclamation as 'The World's Worst Bar' is possibly the year's most clever misnomer. Ultra—modern furniture and intriguing video displays provide the perfect backdrop for a smattering of ’tasteless' artifacts. An alternative cabaret, the Bad Ass Club is establishing itself as the forum for local talent. But what's even worse is that between 5pm. and 9pm. students pay half price for draught beer and wine. How better to imbibe the delectable Stella Artois? Let the bad times roll.

AVOID THE HUMDRUM HODRUM