of the Keystone Kops for the Animal House generation. Strathclydc; La Scala, Saltcoats.

0 Police Academy llzThelr First Assignment (PG) (Jerry Paris, US. 1985) Steve Guttenberg. 87 mins. So-called comedy brings a new resonance to the word ‘mindless’, but people seem to like it. Can’t think why. Strathclydc; La Scala

O Porky’s (18) (Bob Clark. Canada. 1982) Kim Cattrall. Scott Colomby. Nancy Parsons. 94 mins. Lusty high-school guys in 1954 discover that sex is fun and 50’s being a peeping tom. Tedious. supposedly adult fun. Ha. bloody. ha. Glasgow; Grosvenor. Strathclydc; Kclburne 0 Porky’s Revenge ( 18) (James Komack. Canada. 1985) Dan Monahan. Wyatt Knight. Tony Ganios. 92 mins. More ribald antics from the dim-witted, sex-seeking adolescents at Angel Beach High School. It seems slightly less sexist on this occasion. Glasgow; Grosvenor. Strathclyde: Kclburne 0 Purple Rain (15) (Albert Magnoli, US, 1984). Thinly disguised Oscar-winning autobiographical drama on the life and hard times of His Purpleness. The music is all and includes When Doves Cry. Edinburgh: Playhouse 0 The Purple Hose oi Cairo (PG) (Woody Allen. US. 1985) Mia Farrow, Jeff Daniels. Van Johnson. 82 mins. In Depression-ridden America Mia Farrow is a downtrodden waitress and dogsbody to an unappreciative spouse. She gains solace from her frequent visits to the local movie house where she escapes into a world of exotic locales. witty banter exchanged over cocktails and romance where every ending is alhappy one. Edinburgh: Odeon o Re-Anlmator(18) (Stuart Gordon. US. 1985) Bruce Abbott. Barbara Crampton, David Gale. 86 mins. Based on a story by H. P. Lovecraft this tells of a crazed scientist (aren’t they all) who invents a serum that can bring dead bodies back to life. Edinburgh; Filmhouse 0 Bed Dust (PG) (Victor Fleming, US, 1932) Clark Gable, Jean Harlow. Mary Astor. 83 mins. Primitive star vehicle underlining the potency of the Gable-Harlow partnership. He’s a rubber worker in Indo-China torn between the charms of married but desirable Astor and the more earthy Harlow. Glasgow; Grosvenor o Rust Never Sleeps (15) (Bernard Shakey. US. 1979) 103 mins. Rough-edged concert movie capturing Neil Young in action, performing sixteen tunes. My, My. Hey. Hey. Edinburgh; Classic 0 Santa Claus —The Movie (U) (Jeannot Swarc, US, 1985) Dudley Moore, David Huddleston, John Lithgow. 108 mins. Edinburgh; Odeon. Glasgow; Odeon. Strathclydc; Odeon (Ayr), Regal 0 St Elmo’s Fire (15) (Joel Schumacher,US. 1985) Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy. Seven recent college

graduates. a fairly dull rather than magnificent lot by and large. face all the sorts of problems that glossy. rich American college graduates usually face in this sort of glossy. rich American college graduate type of movie. Embalmed in their own wealth. these people are not exciting. and this yuppie soapfest has little to do with life as it is lived in the real world. Stay in and watch Eastenders instead. Edinburgh: Dominion. Glasgow; ABC (Sauchiehall Street)

0 Suburbia ( 18) (Penelope Spheeris. US. 1983) Chris Pederson. Bill Coyne. 94 mins. A moving chronicle ofthc plight ofa group ofyoung people. having run away from middle class homes where they have no hope of love or understanding. who join a commune of punks as an expression of their disaffection and their strongly individualistic identities. A hard-hitting. angry film recommended for anyone who cares anything about the experience of today‘s disenchanted youth. Excellent Hardcore soundtrack too. for those that are interested. Glasgow; GFT

a" Santa Claus -‘I’he Movie (U) (Jeannot Szwarc, US, 1985) Dudley Moore, John Lithgow. David Huddleston. 108 mins. A Yuletide setting has added a touch oi magic and sentimentality to many a notable Hollywood iilm irom Frank Capra’s masterpiece It’s A Wonderiul Liie to the tearierking Miracle on 34th Street with Edmund Gwenn’s Oscar-winning old codger and even Fred Astaire's charming TV movie The Man in the Santa Claus Suit.

Now the Salkind iamily, makers oi the Superman series, Jeanot Szwarc, director of Jaws 2 and Supergirl, and dudley Moore have collaborated on an obscenely expensive lull-scale adventure for old St Nicholas.

The story begins by recounting the miracle oi how simple woodcutter Claus is transiormed into the muniiicent man from the North Pole. Moving swiftly along, the iilm then hopscotches iorward to the cynical commercial world oi the 20th century. Santa has acquired an assistant in the ionn oi Patch, an impish knave portrayed by Dudley Moore. However, when his mass production techniques backfire in a mountain oi shoddy toys he is sacked. Breaking all the rules he leaves the North Pole for downtown New York and tails into the evil


0 Subway ( 15) (Luc Besson. France. 1985) Christopher Lambert, Isabelle Adjani. Michel Galabru. 102 mins. Impetuous peroxide safe-cracker Lambert has fallen head over heels for the scintillating Adjani and hopes to win her by means fair or foul. Absconding with a sheafof incriminating papers he takes refuge in the man-made catacombs of the Paris metro where he discovers a friendly twilight zone that encourages him to dream the impossible dream. A smooth. stylish thriller likened to Diva but with a drive. energy and exuberance of its own. Director Luc Besson. also responsible for the Last Battle. is expected to attend the Cinema 2000 event in Glasgow and is scheduled to attend the GET performance on 12 December to answer questions from the audience. Edinburgh; Filmhouse. Glasgow; GET

0 Tess (PG) (Roman Polanski. France/UK. 1980) Nastassia Kinski. Peter Firth. Leigh Lawson. 170 mins. A tragic story of ill-fated love set in Victorian England. where social circumstances conspire with unforseeable misfortunes to destroy



wry." o

clutches oi unscrupulous toy manuiacturer 8.2. Together they astonish the world with a glowing purple lollipop; D.Z.’s Christmas is so successiul that he decides to stage Christmas 2 at Easter. A disillusioned Santa cries into his beard at the North Pole, convinced that his reign is over. However, D.Z.’stoys can be lethal and, with the help at two loyal young chums Santa and his reindeer must ride to the rescue oi all the chilren in the world.

Santa Claus is never quite as bad as it threatens to be; the script has its moments and the sight oi Santa Claus and his reindeerllylng across a Manhattan skyline may enchant some toddlers, but the $50 million budget has been lavished on large sets brimming with primary colours that assault the eyes and turn the stomach. Santa is such a sanctimonious goody-goody who really does go Yo, Ho Ho! that John Lithgow's cod villainy ls iar more appealing. Above all, the iilm drowns in such a sea oi tiresome good cheer and calculated niceness that it’s not hard to resist its proierred charms. Perhaps this is one case where animation would have worked better. Go and see a good panto instead. (Allan Hunter)

an innocent, plucky heroine. Lengthy Polanski adaptation of the lengthy Hardy novel. Ms Kinski tries hard but it is not enough. French locations obviously compromise the look ofthe thing too. Largely solid BBC classic serial stuff however. enlivened by the occasional Polanski flourish. Glasgow; GET 0 Trading Places (15) (John Landis, US, 1983) Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, Don Ameche, Jamie Lee Curtis. 1 16 mins. Two elderly members of Philadelphia’s Heritage Club indulge in a wager that black down-and-out can make it as a commodities broker and instal him in a partnership, while the former broker he has replaced (now reduced to vagabond status himself) decides to fight back. Superb comedy Strathclydc; ABC (Greenock) o Underihe Volcano (15) (John Huston, 1984, US) Albert Finney, Jacqueline Bisset, Anthony Andrews, Katy J urado. Mexico, 1938. The Day of the Dead dawns as a day of reckoning for terminally alcoholic British consul Albert Finney when the disparate elements of his dissolute life come together with a promise of tragic resolution. Edinburgh: Filmhouse.

o The Wild Bunch ( 18) (Sam Peckinpah. US, 1969) William Holden. Robert Ryan. Ernest Borgnine. 142 mins. 1913, an ageing outlaw gang are hired by a renegade Mexican general for one last job. Elegiac. influential Peckinpah bloodbath with a terrific cast. Glasgow; Grosvenor

0 Witness (15) (Peter Weir, US. 1985) Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis, Alexander Godunov. 112 mins. A young Amish boy is a witness to a murder. The investigation leads a cop into a brush with another culture, a little romance and the expected police corruption.

Atmospheric. impeccably acted and beautifully constructed. One of the year‘s best films. Edinburgh: Dominion.


This section gives details of programmes showing at cinemas in central Scotland over the next fortnight. Readers are advised that many cinemas in the Strathclydc and Lothian regions are unable to provide The List with details of their programming for both weeks covered by each issue , as these may not be available at the time of going to press. These listings therefore provide an accurate guide to programmes for one week only, unless further dates are specified. Readers are advised that programmes may be subject to late change at any time.

Cinemas operating a family discount scheme allow an adult accompanying a child to ‘U’ and ‘PG’ certificate programmes to gain admission for the same price as the child up to 6pm. All programme times are pm unless otherwise stated.

The List 29 Nov- 12 Dec 29