The Bride (15) (Franc iloddam, US, 1985) Sting. Jennifer Beals, David Bappaport, Clancy Brown. 118 mins. Lightning flashes, rain pours, thunder rumbles and a storm rages. High in a castle turret the Baron Frankenstein is working late on his latest experiment— a seamlessly-sewn woman of haunting beauty. However, she is far from charmed to make the acquaintance of her intended mate; the Baron’s last, less successful, creation. In the ensuing commotion a fire breaks out and the creature is presumed to have penshed.

The fire allows the film to neatly split in two, the more conventional element follows the Pygmalion-style relationship between the Baron and the Bride as he grooms her for acceptance

reunion. (‘harmless spin-off from the Star Wars series aimed at pre-school tots. Edinburgh: Filmhouse.

o The Care Bears Movie(U )(Arna Selznick.US. 1985)Mickey Rooney. Jackie Burroughs. Harry Dean Stanton. 76 mins. A full-length adventure of the cuddly bears from the land ofCare-a-lot whose aim is to foster friendship throughout the world. A noble mission handled with sicklysweetness. Edinburgh;

0 Cat's Eye ( 15) (Lewis Teague. US. 1984) Drew Barrymore. Candy Clark. James Woods. 94 mins. A potentially menacing moggy provides the tenuous link in a trio of stories from the prolific pen of SICPhCn King. Strathclyde: ABC (Greenock)

0 Catholic Boys (15) (Michael Dinner. US. 1984) Donald Sutherland. John Heard. Andrew McCarthy. 104 mins. Brooklyn. 1965 and a sixteen year-old transfers to St Basil‘s Catholic School for Boys. unknowingly enrolling in the great school of life as he is befriended by an assortment of fellow pupils. goes joyriding. dancing. dating and hijinking for the first time.

The potential for a Porky‘s-style bawdy romp is thankfully eschewed in favour of a sympathetic. carefully observed rites of passage tale. Glasgow; ABC ( Sauchiehall Street? 0 The Chain (PGi ( lack Gold. UK.

195%) Heinz» LAWv hk‘li. Nigel Hawthorne. Billie Whitelaw. Warren Mitchell. 100 mins. Seven

in polite society and grows ever more possessive and lustful for her charms. Far more involving is the story of the creature who survives. En route to Budapest he is befriended by a midget and learns the worth of sharing, companionship and dreams. inevitably the two strands are once more intertwined for a rushed and unconvincing climax.

A much-maligned box-office flop in America, The Bride is indeed an uneven production and clearly not the sum of its parts. The Sting and Jennifer Beals roles are virtually unplayable as written and Franc Boddam’s gothic assault on the Mary Shelley perennial is an overly-slavish recreation of 1930s Universal outings. (Allan Hunter)

groups of people. each one symbolic ofa deadly sin. shift house one day in London assisted on their way by the ruminations of philosphic removal man Mitchell.

A formidable cast enlivens this overly schematic. unavoidably episodic. but otherwise inoffensive British comedy-drama. Glasgow;

0 Children of the Corn (18) (Fritz Kiersch. US. 1984) Peter Horton. Linda Hamilton. R.G. Armstrong. 92 mins. On his way to a new internship in Seattle a young doctor and his girlfriend drive through the corn fields of Nebraska where they stumble upon a religious community ofcrazed children presided over by a boy preacher. A short story by the ubiquitous Stephen King (does the man never sleep?) provides the basis for this conventional horror yarn. Edinburgh: ABC 0 Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (U) (Ken Hughes. UK. 1968) Dick Van Dyke. Sally Anne Howes. 145 mins. A down-at-heel inventor bestows magical powers on a clapped-out old banger. and along with some children flies to a faraway country where the government hates children. Variable fantasy adventure with poor special effects. a sickly musical score. an even sicklier Sally Anne Howes. and the scourge that is Dick Van Dyke. Edinburgh; Filmhouse. 0 Christine ( 18) (John Carpenter. l'aS “in Kgiih (lvn-rl/m 1111 mins. teenage wimp /\1 me restores a 1957 Plymouth Fury he finds in a derelict garage. Now able to attract girls and

also incurring the wrath of the school bullies. he finds that the car. named Christine. and possessed by seemingly psychotic powers. soon exerts a malevolent hold over him. Just one ofa myriad ofStephen King adaptations. this sinister slice of typical cars ‘n' girls ‘n’ rock ‘n‘ roll teenpic material is slickly put together in the usual skilful Carpenter fashion. but surprisingly lacking in any real excitement. Merely a commercial chore. methinks. Edinburgh: ABC

0 Cocoon (PG) (Ron Howard. US. 1985) Don Ameche. Wilford Brimley. Hume Cronyn. 117 mins. Veteran inhabitants ofa Florida retirement community discover a veritable fountain of youth when they swim in an out-of-bounds pool infested with alien pods.

An engaging central idea is treated with wit. warmth and delicacy but is compromised by the apparent need to appeal to the lucrative youth market in America.

Edinburgh: Dominion. Glasgow: ABC (Clarkston Road). Strathclyde; ()deon (Hamilton)

0 Comfort and Joy (PG) (Bill Forsyth. UK. 1984) Bill Paterson. C. P. Grogan. Rikki Fulton. lliomins. Paterson is local radio deejay Alan ‘Dickie‘ Bird. His Christmas cheer is shortlived when his longstanding. kleptomaniac girlfriend walks out on him. Attempting to fill the void he turns to his work but the banalities of his personality patter and junk-food commercials provide scant compensation.

Edinburgh; Filmhouse

0 Cop au Vin ( 15) (Claude Chabrol. France. 1984) Jean Poiret. Stéphane Audran. Michel Bouquet. 109 mins. To be reviewed. Edinburgh: Filmhouse.

0 Dead Men Don‘t Wear Plaid (PG) (Carl Reiner. US. 1982) Steve Martin. Rachel Ward. Carl Reiner. 89 mins. As with other films in the Martin-Reiner partnership this one reveals their ability to devise one ingenious comic idea and then milk it dry for an hour and a half. This is a lightly boiled parody of the great film noir melodramas of the «lle with Martin as the gumshoe and Ward as the suitably sultry femme fatale.


o The Goonies (PG) (Richard Donner, US, 1985) Sean Astin. Josh Brolin, Jeff Cohen. 114 mins. The Goonies is this year’s second Spielberg production aiterthe excellent Back to the Future, and here, as well as his duties as executive producer, he also wrote the original story. Unfortunately it’s not the second Spielberg success oi the year. If you thought 1941 was a turkey, you ain'tseen nothing yet.

Spielberg's obsession with his position as the new Walt Disney is the root of the problem. Forthis tale of a group of kids (who call themselves ‘The Goonies’ for some inexplicable reason) finding a treasure map and undergoing a perilous subterranean journey to discover a lost pirate galleon, all the while being pursued by a trio of supposedly desperate criminals, is the sort oi kiddie-orientated material that the declining Disney organisation might have turned out ten years ago, give or take a few fashionably risque wisecracks. Which means it is fartoo sanitized to everwork up much excitement, peopled by a cast oi unnecessarily obnoxious pre-pubescents and ineffectually mugging baddies, and topped with

some unpalatably gooey sentimentality.

Yet, even taken as an entertainment

for children, The Goonies does not seem particularly competent. Poorly-timed. lethargic slapstick predominates, especially in a dismaily unfunny opening ten minutes, as the action shambles towards a long overdue and finally muffled finale. Far too much is made of the ubiquitous skeletons that keep predictably popping up; the villains never muster any sense of threat; and only a mother could love the wearisomely irritating fat boy. The remarkably cliched figure of a facially-deformed but kindly-hearted gentle giant does not help matters.

Mr Spielberg obviously feels that the public is crying out for this sort of wholesome family entertainment, and is in such a position of powerto make sure that they get it. Admirable intentions, to be sure, but next time let's hope that he and his collaborators (Richard Donner made The Omen and Superman. but has gone sadly awry here) will do a betterjob.

Having said all that, the children in the preview audience I saw this with enjoyed themselves immensely. Many parents, on the other hand, emerged with a haggard look etched on their faces. You may draw your own conclusions. (TrevorJohnston)

The List 29 Nov- 12 Dec 27