So ewe think you're funny?
Jason Byrne insists he’s
about to unleash his most
serious show yet. All Jay Richardson hears are tales of karaoke, torture and urinating pirates.
’l l}:
/‘ / '
{l l//
ou should never hit a clown when he‘s
down. When he‘s been floored. a
television on his head. a casualty of his own hapless bracket fixing. But let it be noted that Jason Byrne is a ‘fucking eejit~ at home. ()r. as his wife puts it: 'This house is not a venue and you are not with your arsehole comedian friends now.‘ Still. Byrne‘s confusion of the domestic and professional sphere is understandable. Some of his best routines are provided by his family. the manic Irishman spends most of his year away touring and he's just been hit on the head by a falling TV.
What's more. he's actively trying to be a domestic arsehole. Quite apart from plans to emulate Hitler‘s one-sided discussion style at this Festival on a sofa with [{d Byrne (plotted. l'm proud to say. during this interview and without lid's knowledge). he has actually recorded an Irish television pilot called Arse/roles with occasional sidekick l’J Gallagher. The premise is so brilliant it should be instantly commissioned or outlawed under mental health legislation: a member of the public is challenged to survive 48 hours in a house with the pair. do everything they say with the results being televised. It‘s a hostage situation comedy.
'The first guy we got in was 'l‘erry.‘ recalls Byrne. ':\nd fucking hell almighty. we broke his head. We built a television set and had him jump in it and do programmes for us. You know the song ‘5. 4. 3. 2. I”? We had it on karaoke and made him sing it for an hour and a half. There was a bucket full of flour. and P]
18 THE LIST FESTIVAL MAGAZINE 3—10 Aug 3036
and I had pumps on either side. pumping it into his face. At the same time. I was picking up the phone. telling him his girlfriend had been put in a hotel room with his best mate. We had him in a leotard and about to run an assault course when he quit. After l3 hours. The next guy lasted four.‘
A decade after his first l‘ringe performance. Byrne is promising his 'heav'iest material yet‘. a pledge best taken with a wheelbarrow of salt. Sheep/or l-k'er um! Rams fin“ Hum/v is ‘not jost stand-up. it‘s like a violent (iv/remain: (in/m". he giggles. ‘l‘ve got props Spike Milligan would have wanted. things Tommy (‘ooper would've loved. There‘s a bit where I pick someone tip. wrap them in a towel like a baby. then physically weigh them on food scales. lt‘s
'IT'S LIKE A VIOLENT GENERATION GAME'
a mental strain but good fun.‘ Byrne‘s own offspring is obviotisly a chip off the old cra/y paving. His son‘s delight at his own anatomy will loom large in the comic‘s liringe run. performances that are largely unscripted. save for the thrashing his comedians" football team annually suffers to Stenhousemuir l"(‘. Predictably. Byrne draws rather bigger crowds to his legendary gigs at Vicar Street in Dublin. ‘The most bi/arre heckle moment ever happened to me there.‘ he recalls. '.\ly dad rarely comes to see me because he gets nervous. He doesn‘t want to hear people shout
out and thinks he'll have a minor heart attack. So when he does come. he gets hammered on whisky. This one time. he was in the balcony and I didn't know. And somebody shouted out from the audience "I've had your ma!" But it so happened that this fellow was sat next to my dad. I found out two weeks later that he‘d jumped on this bloke. dragged him out of the double doors and kicked him round the hallway. So hecklers beware. My family could be sitting right next to you.~
While at the fringe. Byrne will be taking the chance to see some terrible plays. thinking about writing a children's book about Sixty llk't'v The Pirate "he's basically the worst pirate in the world because he has to go for a piss every time he invades' and hopefully reprising the aforementioned ()&.»\ discussion that he and namesake lid once did in Belfast. ‘You wouldn‘t think we'd connect on stage because lid is very scripted. but we had great fun. One question was 'how do you upset a woman." So I'm thinking about it and lid jumps in with this gag about farting in a public place. Because his missus is always going "this is our house. this is our kitchen". So he's like "this is our car and this is our fart". Then it came back to me and I said. "Yeahhhhh . . . I'd probably just shit on her back.”
.lason Byrne there. Loyal husband. devoted father of one. Still thoroughly undomesticated.
Assembly Hall, 226 2428, 6-28 Aug (not 14, 21), 10.15pm, £12.50—£14.50 (£11.50—£12.50). Previews 4 & 5 Aug, £5.